haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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