We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
