ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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