this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
