Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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