Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
