You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
