i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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