Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
