i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this will be a night to untag.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
