Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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