new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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