Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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