words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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