i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
