whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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