i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
