She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
