Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
