i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
