Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
