Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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