found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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