Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And then my night got REAL pukey
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
