"it" just moved
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
