I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
