Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
