Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
