with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
