i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
