it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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