i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
