when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
