I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
