I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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