if you like me you must not know who I am
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
