Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
