I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You can't special order awesome
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
