So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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