it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
