u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
