awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
