I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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