I feel great
I just peed on a car
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
