the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
