I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize