I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
