Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
