How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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