I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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