If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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